Primary School

As a young boy living in Lagos, my life was anything but boring.
My dad was in the East, and my mom was selling whatever was in season in front of our compound: corn, yam and pepper stew with ponmo, roasted plantain, anything you can think of.

The problem was, she was always across the gutter. I don't know how to explain it to people who didn't live in Lagos (not the posh parts), but there was an organization called Kai. I knew them as a kid because whenever I came back from school and went to the shop to greet my ma, and I found my sister crying, it meant they had 'carried' my mom—or arrested her, if we're speaking in Queen's English.

Oh, they carried my mom a lot, but this story isn't about my mom, and it's not even primarily about me. It's about me in primary school. I was a different animal! Everything mentioned here happened before I turned nine.

Act 1, Scene 1: New Word

The first school I set foot in. Trust me, my detest for the Nigerian education system didn't start today; it started as an infant. I went to New Word for Kindagarten because my siblings were attending the school, until my ma decided to switch me to the school just beside my compound for nursery: Success Academy.

That is two schools, by the way. I hated schools, and seeing as I hated schools, my ma probably thought the schools were the problem, so she kept switching me.

For Nursery 2, I was already admitted to Erina on Aro Lane, but the twist is that I got bumped down to Nursery 1 again. Bummer.

Well, life was a breeze, and I eventually entered Primary 1.
A lot happened in nursery, but I'm going to keep it PG.

Primary 1 was when my prime started. I had a friend—we were co-richest in the class. I went to a 'kpako' school, so it wasn't a hard thing to become.

Aniete was that guy—I think from Cross River or Akwa Ibom. We became 'rich' because we were the only two kids who didn't come to school with a flask for food; we had our own lunch moneyyyy, and we spent it at the cafeteria every day.

While the other kids opened their flasks for homemade food, Aniete and I were focused on who would finish their saccharine-filled ice creams. I don't know if that can qualify as ice cream.

I had a girlfriend: Esther. Pretty, hairy, still pretty. Oh, my Shayla, how I've missed you.

We were passing notes in class: "I love you," "I love you too." Then we fought, and my world came crashing down. 😭

What happened? I don't remember.

But we fought. Not a physical fight—a lovers' quarrel.

In her innocent attempt to reach my stone heart, she wrote another note and kept it on my bag during break. "Esther Loves Ikenna" broke down all my defenses, and I was ready to get back with my babe.

But I was dumb. Young, dumb, and not broke, but you get the point. I was walking around with my 'trophy letter' until I came across some seniors, and they took it from me and read it.

In Lady Whistledown’s voice, somebody say "scandal"!!😭

I fought, oh, I fought for my love and destroyed it, but the problem with 'pako' schools was that news spread fast, and Esther's mom was teaching Primary 3.

Well, before the news got to Esther's mom, my not-so shrewd friend, Segun, decided that he had an idea: "Why don't we replicate the note and show her mom?"
That way, you'd be absolved of the flogging that might come.
And boy, did the flogging come.

Segun, the mastermind, did everything and reported to Esther’s mom—(it might be me that did all that, but I do know it was Segun’s idea. I might be the one that executed it, but I can't be that cruel to someone I loved. My memory refuses to paint me as a villain in my love story.)

I stood there as they flogged my Shayla. She wept, and my heart bled. Jesus Christ.

That was the last day I saw Esther. She got withdrawn from our school, and that's how I lost the potential love of my life.

Maybe I'm still paying for my sins against Esther; that's why God only sends lost causes my way. 🥲

I'm sorry, Esther. Forgive me.

Author's Note:

Hey guysss, this is the first of many publications that will be talking about my life. This is a personal blog, so stay tuned as I try my best to put my life experiences into words that you might understand. Also, a subscribe button will be made available soon so you can get your not-so-daily dose of my writings directly in your emails.